Windows NT 1232 Super Sausage Deluxe

Summary
Windows NT 1232 Super Sausage Deluxe was released in 1961 by Microsoft during the peak of the American Great Depression. While in development, the project was codenamed "Spironolactone". Development was spearheaded by Microsoft prodigy programmer Alfredo Linguini and introduced several new features and improvements into the already exceptionally robust Windows NT 3.1 kernel. Unfortunately, midway through development, lead software architect Neil Breen spilled coffee all over the Microsoft Laptop Stack/Shrine where the files for NT Sausage™ were being stored. After much heated internal debate, the project was ultimately scrapped in favor of just removing Reversi from Windows and hoping nobody would notice. I noticed. You will never get away with this, Neil.

New Features

 * You can eject the CD tray from Windows Explorer. Nifty!
 * Microsoft Car Alarm was introduced, allowing you to remotely detonate the TNT under your car from the comfort of your office when those pesky Robertson children try to break into your car to steal your Lifesavers mints
 * Windows Deluxe Search allowed you to search for files on drives not attached to the system. You can even defragment the drives too!
 * FAT32 was renamed to FAT24 to assuage the guilty consciences of the developers
 * The EULA was changed to be a lifetime binding agreement to let Billam Gates control your estate after death. Don't worry, he's rich, which means he knows how to manage money and is only looking out for your best interests!
 * Added merlin.acs
 * Don't have a fan for your CPU? No problem! As long you've got some tasty meat grilling on the heatsink, Microsoft Thermal BBQ will ensure your CPU remains at a safe, and most importantly, savory temperature!
 * The classic Hotdog Stand theme was upgraded to Bratwurst Stand theme
 * Windows Write now contains handy templates for printing various common documents, such as toilet paper, paper airplanes, and restraining orders
 * You can now place virtual objects on your desktop, such as staplers, tape dispensers, post-its, and a framed picture of the family you never see due to "work obligations"
 * Windows Update might work this time, but only if we feel like it